masterofintrigue:

boobermensch:

breathless-battaglia:

charismatickrogan:

princeofmistakes:

Yea, verily: Who is that, stalking amidst the wasteland! It is Christopher, hands clutching a vorpal blade! And with a mighty howl, his voice cometh:

“I’m going to pound you in such an inhumane manner, your pets won’t recognize you!”

Sprinting out of the icy wasteland, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a studded crowbar, cometh CharismaticKrogan! And he gives a booming grunt:

“I’m going to beat you like it’s my job, and plunge you into financial ruin!!!”

Fitting

Skulking on the mini-mall parking lot, attacking with a vorpal blade, cometh Dan! And he gives an ominous grunt:

“I’m going to pierce a hole in you the size of God!!”

Sprinting through the mini-mall parking lot, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Madison! And she gives an ominous grunt:

“I’m going to spank you with such zeal, your timbers will shiver!!!”

This one was really fun, actually.

Lo! Who is that, prowling over the mini-mall parking lot! It is Masterofintrigue, hands clutching a meaty axe! She grunts thunderously:

“You in some shit now, muhfuh! I hereby void your warranty, and send you back to God!”

Lo! Who is that, sprinting across the freeway! It is Sarakitten, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! And with a bloodthirsty roar, her voice cometh:

“In the name of Thor the Mighty, I shall make bloody music with your nation’s populace!!!”

(Source: chantillyxlacey)