I really need to stop watching things that make me cry at like 1 am

Things are getting to the point that I have to take medicine to knock me out or I will be literally unable to fall asleep because I lay in bed thinking about things that make me miserable

i think

my anxiety is getting worse

prime example: yesterday I went to a couple of Halloween stores to check out the wicked sick new merch and this one was SO CROWDED like damn. It was bursting at the seams with high school and college age kids. I was in there for less than five minutes and I started to shake and it was hard to breathe and it was taking every inch of my willpower not to cry. And I have no idea why. I felt so miserable and different. It was awful. And it’s not like anyone was even looking at me. Just being there with all those people. I had to flee.

And I just constantly lay in bed and think about shit like that every single night and nothing but medication will stop it. I just wish I could lay down and fall asleep like normal people.

Imma just post my favorite gif to make me feel better

look at that fucking face i just want to squeeze his cheeks and cuddle him every single night