- Me: omfg send help I'm dying
- Them: what?!
- Me: i can't even omg
- Them: you can't even what?
- Me: I just can't even okay I just tHEY ARE TOO PERFECT IM SOBBING I CAN'T
- Them: WOW WHY ARE WE SCREAMING ALL OF A SUDDEN
- Me: I just have a lot of feelings aojhshfkndjfoejfomdvoebmo
- Them: .....what is that
- Me: my feelings on a keyboard sIGH
- Them: ....riIiiiight
- Me: UGH I HATE THEM FOR DOING THIS TO ME NO THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS I LITERALLY CANNOT HANDLE ALL OF THE FEELS sjkdjdncdenci
- Them: then why don't you just stop reading/watching all of that stuff if you hate them?
- Me: nO I CAN'T ARE YOU CRAZY I LOVE THEM SUHOUHVDHIFJEOFJ THEY'RE KILLING ME BECAUSE FEELINGS BUT I LOVE THEM THEY'RE MY BABIES
- Them: wow it's just fictional characters/celebrities, stop overreacting, you're being dramatic
- Me: NO OKAY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
- Them: I understand plenty, you're being dramatic like I said
- Me: NO YOU DON'T GET IT suchdifhrojgorgjorgjo ugh my emotions I can't take this tHEY ARE FLAWLESS
- Them: .....
- Me: literally dead omfg
- Them:
- Me: SOBBING
- Me: JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL
omg i dont usually post period stuff but holy shit did this make me laugh
oh jesus christhjfkd,gxfd this is funnier than it should be
ohgod
(Source: fayheyhey)
Yea, verily: Who is that, stalking amidst the wasteland! It is Christopher, hands clutching a vorpal blade! And with a mighty howl, his voice cometh:
“I’m going to pound you in such an inhumane manner, your pets won’t recognize you!”
Sprinting out of the icy wasteland, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a studded crowbar, cometh CharismaticKrogan! And he gives a booming grunt:
“I’m going to beat you like it’s my job, and plunge you into financial ruin!!!”
Fitting
Skulking on the mini-mall parking lot, attacking with a vorpal blade, cometh Dan! And he gives an ominous grunt:
“I’m going to pierce a hole in you the size of God!!”
Sprinting through the mini-mall parking lot, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using buzzsaw hand extensions, cometh Madison! And she gives an ominous grunt:
“I’m going to spank you with such zeal, your timbers will shiver!!!”
This one was really fun, actually.
Lo! Who is that, prowling over the mini-mall parking lot! It is Masterofintrigue, hands clutching a meaty axe! She grunts thunderously:
“You in some shit now, muhfuh! I hereby void your warranty, and send you back to God!”
Lo! Who is that, sprinting across the freeway! It is Sarakitten, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! And with a bloodthirsty roar, her voice cometh:
“In the name of Thor the Mighty, I shall make bloody music with your nation’s populace!!!”
(Source: chantillyxlacey)
